“Is he the one?” “When will I meet the one?”
That’s probably the most common question I get.
My answer is: I don’t know / Perhaps
I wish I could tell you, I really do.
But I can’t.
For a very important reason.
In wanting romantic love, we actually get to know what our ideals are in the process of desiring it.
For example, you may be looking for someone who is kind, handsome, smart and athletic.
This actually tells you something about you, and the things that you like, the qualities that you value. This tells you who you are willing to give your love to. This could also tell you more about what you have been taught to love, what you think you deserve, and how love has felt like to you in your life thus far.
In the Western world especially, when so much comes down to Self Determination and having #Goals and effortfully working towards something, it’s no surprise that one works towards Manifesting a lover, vision boarding a soul mate, drawing up a 5 year plan, Pinterest-ing an entire wedding.
But see, the Universe doesn’t work like that.
The Universe laughs in the face of our checklists and plans.
Because the Universe wants to bring you love with a capital L, it wants you to know the real deal. All of our checklists of wants and wishes and desires pale in comparison to the blazing flames of Love.
Sometimes the Universe even brings us what we think we want, in order to show us that it isn’t really what we want. It all looks good on the outside. But while we’re in it, and experiencing it, something feels off. It feels like we should be happy because we have what we want, yet… There’s a disconnect.
At this juncture, we are being given a choice. Do we dare dig deeper to find out what the root of our discontent is? Do we dare ask questions, which may rock the very foundations of our deeply cherished assumptions and illusions? Do we really want to find out the Truth?
See, Love burns everything down in its path that is Not Truth.
It burns down ego constructs, it burns down vanity, it burns down things we do for the sake of appearances, it burns down false gods and masks and all manner of things. It shows us where we cling on because of old wounds, it tells us where we are lacking self-love.
And not everyone is ready for this.
And there is no judgement in this. It is not an easy process, not for the faint of heart. It requires you to leave everything behind that you once thought of as You. You – with that career, that image, that carefully planned out future. All of it, razed down to the ground. It asks for your sacrificial cow, slaughtered. It asks that you release your sweaty grip on your attachments, finger by finger, and asks that you dare to believe that’s what’s meant to be yours will come, what’s meant to stay will stay.
We are all asked to step up to this plate time and time again, to see if we are ready to open up to Love – not as just a one-time thing, but again and again throughout our lives, to open deeper, wider.
But it is 100% up to each of us as individuals whether we accept the challenge.
Sometimes we have to retreat to understand ourselves deeper. Sometimes we have to retreat to lick our wounds. Sometimes we have to fall back to gather strength. And sometimes it’s simply not the right time (or lifetime yet). And there is no judgement in this. All in divine timing.
The whole concept of Twin Flames is really a decoy. As humans, we long for that romantic partner. The concept of The One that is fed to us in popular media. Twin Flames tempt us with the image of an intoxicating romance, the missing piece of the puzzle, the one whom we can be safe with forever.
But the true purpose of a Twin Flame is to open us up to Divine Love. Love with a capital L. Universal Love. Love for all beings. The kind of love that breaks us open.
It shows us that yes, there may (or may not) be another human being exists who demands that you face yourself; that you are willing to fall apart to be put back together again. This may be in the form of one person, or they may come to you in many forms: the people you pass on the street, a friend, an enemy, family.
But with this person(s), if in your life for your higher good, there lies no safety. You will not be able to retreat and go to sleep forever. This person will show you that to hold up your end of the relationship, you will have to heal, to grow, to open. And to keep opening. And that they will have to do the same.
(PSA: None of this ever, ever, ever justifies abusive behavior, whether you believe they are your soul mate or twin flame or past life lover or whatever.)
The irony is that when come face to face with Love, many run.
It’s too painful. Ego barriers are broken down, the concept of The One is completely turned on its head. Many cannot bear to give up what they have carefully built as their ego identity because they dare not discover what lies beneath.
Shame, pain, abandonment, fears, monsters – all buried under years and years of careful cultivation and concealment. Would I still be worthy of love, if I confront where I was not loved, where I had been hurt, where my wounds were ignored? Where I was simply Not Good Enough?
The answer cannot be reached through logical analysis. The truth is Divine Love wants you to know that you are 100% worthy of love and wholeness. That you are already whole, you are already healed. That you ARE love. That you no longer have to keep on grasping for things to fill that hole within you, the hole that was caused by other imperfect humans trying to get to know Love, that can really only be filled by getting in touch with yourself and sitting within the embrace of the Divine.
And yet the world with all its illusions are too enticing, too seductive. Many keep on searching, seeking for the one outside of ourselves.
If you are asking, “When is my one supposed to come?” “Is he the one?”
I don’t know. But the Universe will keep bringing you opportunities to get to know Love, to open yourself up to Truth, to shatter illusions.
That Love is already here, that you no longer have to seek. That you are already whole, healed and good enough, and that even when the other appears, it will be as a bonus, a physical manifestation of the Love that is all around us.
The secret is: You have always been the Love you seek.