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How to Let Go


Sometimes it’s as simple as not allowing yourself to think a certain thought anymore. You’ve thought a thought to death (classic 10 of Swords) and it’s just time to stop going down that road. You know where it’s going to lead, you’ve tested it many, many times, and it’s really no longer sustainable to keep on hurting yourself that way. We’ve all been tested enough in the past couple of years to know what our particular brand of that way is.

Other times, the thing we’re letting go of is way more subtle. It’s a habit we keep defaulting to. It’s the fall-back solution you apply to situations that used to work but really isn’t effective or getting you where you need to go anymore – e.g. strong-arming it, freaking out, depending on someone else, falling into despair, sweeping things under the carpet. You’ve swept so many things under your carpet there’s just no more room underneath it. Or being a people-pleaser, over-giver. Things that started out with good intentions but just got derailed somewhere along the way. No judgement here: these are just by-products of the simple act of living and learning, the very proof of our humanness.

But at a certain point, you keep hitting walls, and it finally dawns on you: now you know better, and you gotta do better.

The great news is that you’re allowed, at any time, to pull back, reassess and course correct.

And with this Full Moon in Libra & partial Lunar Eclipse today, the cosmos is especially supportive of any of your efforts to loosen your grip on things that just aren’t serving you.

Here are some tips on letting go:

  1. Know that you may face resistance. But even just being aware of this already makes it easier. Attachment is natural, but it is also just another habit. Which is why letting go can feel so painful – we’ve gotten used to a certain way of being, we’ve invested emotions and weaved a story around it. But take a moment to consider this: you are the author of your current reality, and you have the power to rewrite it. That feeling of resistance is temporary. And the rewards that come from letting go? They will echo far into the future.
  2. Stop yourself from thinking that thought. I know, sounds so simple right? For a Virgo like me, it takes almost superhuman self-restraint to actively NOT worry, to not obsess. But it is still very possible. So just practice watching your thoughts. Every single time you think of something unproductive, catch yourself. You may not be successful every time, but even just that intention of wanting to rewire yourself gently goes a long way in the long run. Meditation is a good practice for observing your thoughts.
  3. When you let go, you create a vacuum. There’s energy that now has nowhere to go, which is why we sometimes have trouble letting go. We have the urge to fill that vacuum with SOMETHING – and end up dragging that old habit back into our lives. Sometimes it’s wise to let the vacuum be, and see what comes in. But if you need to distract your mind a little bit, redirect that energy. Pick up a new skill. Take action steps towards the thing you want to invite into your life. For example, when I wanted to let go of my habit of worrying, I practiced diverting my attention instead to creating. I saw it as a refocusing of my energy and putting it towards something instead of letting the energy build into self-sabotage.
  4. The importance of ritual. In my past life as skeptic-of-all-things, I never imagined I would one day think that burning up pieces of paper or saying affirmations could help. But they do, and people and have been doing them for millennia for a reason. Rituals help you physically reinforce mental concepts, and ground them into reality. Writing intangible things you need to release down onto a piece of paper helps you see it in a physical form, helps your brain register it as a thing, instead of just a thought. Then as you watch it burn in a symbolic act of release, you see it leaving you and your life. Simple but so powerful.

With that, here’s an easy and effective Full Moon Ritual:

  1. Create a space. It doesn’t matter where this is, as long as you’ve set an intention of allowing it to be a sacred space. It is sacred because of your intention. Clean it. Use candles, burn an essential oil, or incense, or smudge it with sage to clear the space energetically.
  2. Get all your things ready. Pen and paper. And a fire-safe container like a smudging pot or a ceramic bowl.
  3. Write down, as specifically as possible, all the things you want to let go of. I am letting go of __ because __.
  4. Call upon Universal support. Express gratitude for this thing that used to serve you. That used to be what you had to count on. Thank it. Bow to it. Honor it. Then call upon your guides – the angels – Love – Universe to witness this. As an example:
    1. ♡ I call upon Unconditional Love in the Universe to witness this act of release. Please assist me in removing all that no longer serves me, especially: (read your list). Thank you so much for helping me to let go. May you fill me with self-love, self-knowledge, spiritual light and spiritual power. May I be open to all the goodness that is coming my way. And it is so.♡
  5. Burn that paper in a fire-safe container. Dispose of the ashes in nature if possible.
  6. Wash your hands.

I have so much love and respect for you. It takes courage to let go, it takes courage to recognize that something is no longer working, and it takes courage to move forward.

Full moon blessings, and so much love, as always.

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